The Game of LIFE
by Desperate Derelict
Summary: Post-ep for 6x23 - How Season 7 SHOULD start. In The Game of LIFE, everyone's a player. Four chapters, no tragedy, just Castle fun.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own a lot of cool board games. ABC and Andrew Marlowe own Castle et al. Doesn't seem fair._

_"Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." _  
_― Erica Jong, Fear of Flying_

**Chapter 1: Risk**

Chief John Brady acknowledged the message from his dispatcher and hung up. A twelve year veteran of the South Hampton Police Department, he knew when he was totally out of his depth – like right now. Assembled with him in the spacious private study of the Castle beachfront home were three accomplished and decorated homicide detectives, all of whom had seen more serious crime in a typical month then he'd seen his entire career. He could keep his mouth closed and have them think him a fool, or open it and remove all doubt. Oh well, in for a penny . . .

"Detective Beckett? Excuse me. The FBI said, per our request, they dispatched a special agent from New York by helicopter, who should be arriving here in the next few minutes. For my benefit, how do you guys know this was a kidnapping, and not a traffic accident or anything less . . . sinister?"

Beckett, looking incongruous in her wedding gown, looked at him and sighed. "That's okay, Chief. Well, first of all, there was nobody in or around Castle's car."

"How do you know that? The car's still a raging inferno."

Esposito, the tough looking Hispanic detective, jumped in. "You'd be able to smell it. It's a very distinctive smell, burning human." All the detectives' faces showed revulsion. "It's not an odor you're ever able to forget."

The third detective, Kevin Ryan, dressed identically to Esposito in a dark tuxedo, spoke up. "Secondly, the car fire was staged. Expensive German luxury cars do not spontaneously burst into flame. They never catch fire. Ever. Certainly, not when the car is upright, not a fire that hot, and never in the interior of the car. You could probably put out a forest fire if you throw enough Mercedes on it. No, somebody was trying to get rid of evidence, and fire bombed the car somehow."

Esposito, after getting a nod from Beckett, continued. "The third reason is the clincher. A quarter mile up the street from Castle's car we found tire tracks and skid marks that show a definite collision, like someone forcing another vehicle to a stop. The other vehicle was fairly large, like a Humvee or an SUV or a pickup truck. That's why we asked your guys to rope it all off. There were pieces of headlight and window glass in the street. We should get a car type pretty quick from the feds. They'll be able to verify it was Castle's Benz, and what other make and model vehicle was involved. It was really frustrating to walk away from there and hurry back here, but we didn't want to compromise the crime scene."

They all returned to their respective silences, everybody but Brady waiting patiently, almost serenely. Since returning from the crime scene, the three New Yorkers had been sitting around calmly, as if they were waiting for a bus, not life-or-death news on their partner. Brady felt anything but relaxed, but tried his best not to display his agitation. The door to the study opened, admitting the noisy sounds of an ongoing party with the faint pulse of a helicopter in the background. A young, striking red-headed woman strolled in and shut the door behind her.

Beckett addressed her. "Hey, Lex. How's it going out there?"

"Everybody out there is having a great time. Lots of guesses as to why you two decided to have the reception before the wedding, but I'm sure nobody suspects anything. Not yet, anyway. The most common theory is that Dad wanted to switch it up from his two previous tries. Everyone thinks we're getting our pictures taken now, but I don't know how long that will hold up."

Ryan looked up at her. "Alexis, was that a helicopter I heard when you came in?"

"Yeah, it's landing down on the beach. Grams went down to greet whoever it is. Is that the FBI? She was hoping it was George Clooney, who she sent one of the extra wedding invitations to." Alexis looked over at Brady, then approached him with a gracious smile and her hand outstretched. "Chief Brady? Hi. I'm Alexis Castle. Thanks for coming."

Brady stood and shook her hand. "Ms Castle, it's nice to meet you, I just wish it could be under better circumstances." Brady looked around at the three detectives, then back at the young woman. He hesitated, then ventured, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How can you be so calm? All of you? Your Dad, their friend, and her fiancée goes missing right before his wedding under very suspicious circumstances, and you all sit around like it's no big deal. I'd be going crazy, and my daughters would be totally out of control. I don't get it."

Alexis shrugged. "I probably would have been totally crazed a few years ago, before I knew these three" she replied, waving in the detectives' general direction. "I have since learned there is nothing these guys can't do, once they've set their minds to it. I am totally confident that they'll be able to extract my Dad from whatever predicament he's got himself into."

Brady's eyebrows climbed halfway to his receding hairline. "You think your Dad had something to do with this?"

Alexis smirked. "Well, if he didn't cause it, there's a good chance he'll make it worse. That's just what he does." Esposito and Ryan both chuckled, and even Beckett flashed a grin.

The door opened again, and Martha Rogers made an entrance. "Darlings!" she called, "I come bearing gifts. Admittedly, neither are George Clooney, but so very few people are. These are Special Agents Crawford and James from the FBI."

Beckett stood up and approached the agents. Crawford was a thin, willowy blond about 30, and James a very young African American with a shaved head and goatee. Beckett shook hands with James and introduced herself. "Hi, Agent James. I'm Kate Beckett." She then turned to the female agent and shook hands. "Agent Crawford, it appears your hands have warmed up since we last met."

The blond grinned. "Detective Beckett. You remember! Hopefully, this will be resolved quicker than the Candela case."

Beckett turned and introduced everyone else. "This is the local Chief of Police, John Brady, my future step- daughter Alexis Castle, and these two characters are part of my homicide team, Detectives Esposito and Ryan." As they all shook hands, Beckett turned to her flamboyant soon-to-be Mother-in-law. "Thank you, Martha."

"Any news?" Martha asked, her eyes frightened. Of all the people in Castle's and Beckett's immediate orbit, Martha was probably the least patient, the most fragile. Beckett grabbed both her hands in hers.

"Not yet, but with the cavalry here, we should be getting answers shortly. Could you keep an eye on the rowdies outside for us? We'll let you know as soon as we hear something."

Martha donned a brave smile. "Katherine! Richard would be shocked and disappointed to hear you asking me to chaperone a party of almost 300 people, a band, and an open bar. I, on the other hand, see it as a marvelous opportunity." As she swept out of the room, she called "Good Luck, everybody." She looked pointedly at her granddaughter. "Please keep me up to date, Alexis."

Crawford took a seat on the sofa opposite Beckett's chair, and pointed to the phone. "Mind if we set up the trace and trap?"

Beckett sat back down in the big leather chair, every bit the queen on a throne. "No. Please do. Do you have forensic people out at the crash scene?"

Crawford nodded. She pointed to the phone on the desk, and James started setting up their equipment. "We were scrambled out of our New York office in record time. You must have pulled quite a few strings to get a full team out here in just over an hour. Who do you know?" Crawford looked disapprovingly at Beckett.

"Let's just say, over the years the three of us and Castle have bailed you feds out of several bad situations. If there was a time to call in our markers, this was it."

Crawford signaled her acceptance. "Well, we're here now. Tell me, why are you so sure this was an abduction, instead of a traffic accident, or a practical joke, or a groom getting cold feet?"

Alexis jumped up and cried, "My Dad would never ..."

"ALEXIS!" Undoubtedly the first time Beckett had ever raised her voice at Little Castle, it stopped the red head mid-sentence. In a calmer voice she said "I've got this, okay?" As Alexis nodded silently, Beckett looked at Brady. "Chief?"

Brady couldn't understand why one of the best homicide detectives in the country would want a local-yokel to answer the FBI, but he shrugged and tentatively repeated their answers from earlier, ticking the points off his fingers. "No body, a staged car accident and fire, and signs of a car-jacking at the scene."

Crawford's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Wow. Okay. Very good, Chief. Our forensic team is at the crash site, so we should get answers from them shortly." She looked around the room, including everyone in the conversation. "Typically, there are only four reasons to abduct an adult male. The first is purely financial, to get a ransom, but there have to be easier and more lucrative targets out here in the Hamptons than Richard Castle. However, we are set up both here and at your city apartment in case demands come through.

"The second reason to abduct someone is to prevent something from happening, like an individual testifying in court. With the timing of this, it might be someone didn't want this wedding to take place. Can any of you think of someone who would have objected to this marriage?" As everybody shook their heads, Crawford prodded "Ex-spouses? Old boyfriends? Girlfriends? Any inheritance issues?"

Beckett answered for the group. "No. There's nothing like that."

"The third and fourth reasons are related." Crawford continued. "They're the least common. They're also the ugliest. Is there any reason someone might want to harm Mr Castle? Or, if not Castle, hurt or try to influence someone close to him?" Crawford was staring right at Beckett. "Anybody so angry with him, or you, they may want to humiliate him, or, um . . . " she remembered the audience she was addressing, but forged on, "damage him in some way?"

The three detectives and the redheaded girl all exchanged meaningful glances, pregnant with hidden meanings. Crawford sighed and asked, "What?"

Beckett started speaking, with Ryan, Esposito, and Alexis adding details and clarifying points. A full ten minutes later, the pretty FBI agent was staring at them all in horror. "Okay, let me see if I can summarize. For the past six plus years Richard Castle has been instrumental in catching and convicting murderers in New York City. Although most will still be locked up, many of those people have friends and family who are less than thrilled with him. Additionally, one of the most notorious serial killers of our day, who may or may not still be alive, has sworn vengeance on Castle. Even if 3XK's dead or not involved, this killer has what amounts to a cult following with unknown resources behind them, itching to follow in his footsteps. To top it off, one of the most powerful people in America, the senior senator from New York, is sitting in jail awaiting trial, due solely to evidence compiled during an investigation conducted by Castle and Beckett. I think it's safe to assume that Bracken has made some very powerful friends, and has a long list of people that owe him favors."

"If that's not enough, we have insane fans who show their adoration for Richard Castle the novelist by shooting him in the chest. We have a daughter who has ALREADY BEEN KIDNAPPED, by an unknown international terrorist group, who you all refuse to tell me about. Lastly, we have an author who has access to some very shady characters, who undoubtedly knows secrets he has no business knowing, and is not known for his ability to keep his mouth closed. Have I forgotten anything? No? Well, I have one final question: ARE YOU PEOPLE FREAKING KIDDING ME?"

Esposito took offense. "Hey! There's no need to get bitchy, Crawford. Castle can handle himself."

Crawford looked at him with scorn. "Oh, really? Tell me, Detective Esposito, if you're walking down Lexington Avenue, and a group of thugs kidnap you or rough you up, what happens?"

Esposito replied with confidence, "Then those idiots responsible would get the full attention of the NYPD, 35,000 members strong. There isn't anywhere they could hide."

"Right. Well, from where I'm sitting, it appears that Mr Castle has been bearing the same risks as you, without the same insurance coverage. At the very least, he should be walking around with an armed bodyguard 24 – 7." She turned to her junior colleague. "Carl, could you please check with our team at the crash site?"

As James got up to leave the room, Beckett turned and looked at her junior team member. "Ryan?" Ryan nodded and followed James out of the study.

Crawford looked around. "The rest of you, I want you to check all means of communication. E-mails. Cell phones. Insta-gram. Any websites you own. Anything Castle's kidnappers could have used to contact us."

Beckett got on her computer, Alexis on her Dad's. After a couple of fruitless minutes, they both looked at each other and shook their heads despondently. Beckett took out her cell phone, checked text messages, then started checking voicemail. Suddenly she looked up and shouted, "I have a message from Castle!"


	2. Clue

_Disclaimer: You don't need to own the field to play baseball on it._

"If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely no **clue** what the plot is. Maybe that's why we don't know whether it's a comedy or tragedy."

Calvin & Hobbes

**Chapter 2: Clue**

Beckett clicked on the speaker phone. They all heard "… _not marry you today, or tomorrow, or ever. I never intended to tell you like this, leaving you stuck at the ball like Cinderella, but everything kind of happened at the last minute. Do you remember that terrific party at the Edward's place we got to attend last month? Where you met Bill the Barber? Well, when we were separated, I ran into my old friend Ginger Knowles. We'd had a fling earlier, and we've rekindled our romance. Our connection is electric. As I was driving to our wedding, I realized I couldn't go through with my marriage to you. I'm too committed to Ginger. _

_I know how you believe in fate, and karmic justice. After subjecting you to this, I know someth…"_

Agent Crawford had stood up and crossed over in front of Beckett, who was intently concentrating on her phone. She began, "Kate, I'm so sorr …".

Beckett glanced up at her, her eyes glaring. "QUIET!" she snapped.

_"… with you. I could build a theory as to why this happened, but building theory is pretty dumb without you. Actually, it's definitely dumb without you. So goodbye, Kate. I will think fondly of you …. forever_."

They could all hear the click as the call disconnected. Beckett could be heard whispering "You incredible, incredible man." Then she looked at Esposito. "What do you think?"

Espo grimaced. "Sounded bad, like our boy has landed in some serious shit. Let's get a time and location of the call, then I want to hear the call in its entirety." He glowered at Crawford.

Beckett turned to the agent. "Can you trace his call? Now? It was blocked. My cell number's 917-555-5283."

"Sure. As soon as you guys tell me what's going on."

Beckett gestured impatiently. "Castle is sending up a flare. That call was definitely made under duress, and was being monitored by somebody. We'll go over it in detail once you get a location."

Crawford pulled out business cards from her pocket, shuffled through them, and handed Beckett one. "Forward that voice mail to this number. We'll check ambient noises and stress levels at the lab."

Beckett looked a little lost, so Alexis gently took both the phone and the card from Beckett, pressed some buttons, then handed the phone back to the Detective.

Meanwhile, Crawford took out her phone, and hit the speed dial. She started speaking almost at once. "Charles? Liz Crawford. Look, I need a trace on all activity on a cell phone out here in the Hamptons, and I need it five minutes ago. No warrant needed, we have permission. Phone number is " she looked at her notebook "917-555-5283. We got a voicemail from the victim, but the caller ID was blocked. It should be in your inbox by now. We need the originating phone. Where it is now, where it was when it was used recently, and who it's called. Background noises. The works. Make sure you're still monitoring Castle's cell. I'll hold." She looked around. "It'll be a minute or two."

The study door opened, admitting Martha and Lanie Parish carrying trays of food. Martha looked at Alexis. "Any word?"

Alexis nodded. "Dad called and left a voicemail for Kate. Agent Crawford is trying to track the phone he used, then we're going to review his message. Looks like Dad is in trouble. Kevin is with the other agent at the crash site."

"Well, it sounds like it's about to become busy, so everybody should grab a bite to eat while they can. Especially you, Katherine."

Beckett shook her head. "I couldn't, Martha. Thank you, but I don't need anything right now."

"Yes. You. Do." Lanie towered over her sitting friend. "Don't let her fool you, Mrs R. My girl here has the metabolism of a blast furnace." She lowered her voice, smiled, and muttered "the bitch" before continuing. "Since Castle isn't here to make sure she eats, we need to." The two best friends tried to stare each other down.

"Fine!" relented Beckett. She grabbed a fork and took a bite of the polenta. "There! Happy?"

Lanie smirked, victorious. "Ecstatic."

"Wow! This is great!" Beckett looked at the newcomers, and asked "How is it going out there?"

Lanie answered, "That is one great party. Who in the hell did you guys invite, Kate? Outside of your Dad, I don't think anyone has even noticed you guys aren't there. For sure, there's going to be some hurting people tomorrow."

"How is my Dad doing? Should we invite him in here?"

Lanie shook her head. "I did, but he declined. He and his lady friend won't get off the dance floor."

Beckett's eyebrows furrowed. "Who is …."

Crawford raised her hand. "Right here, Charles. What'cha got? … He did? That's clever. … You sure? Okay, thanks. Can you monitor that phone going forward? The moment it goes live, we need a location. Thanks again, Charles. Next drinks are on me."

Crawford hung up and looked at Beckett. "Castle's phone is currently turned off. His only two calls made today were to your cell, Detective. One from the city before noon, and one close to here at 1:43 pm. The other phone you got the voicemail from is a burner, number totally blocked, and was used once at 3:19 pm. Now get this. Normally, we wouldn't be able to track it, but Castle called into your provider, and accessed your voicemail remotely to leave his message. That's why it didn't ring. It's virtually the only way we could have tracked this black market phone. Either Castle is very good or very lucky. He was bounced off a cell tower south of Ridge, NY about 25 miles north northwest of us. We are now tracking that phone as well, but it's off and hasn't been used before or since."

Beckett finished chewing and swallowed. "Okay. Gather 'round, everybody. Let's see what we can get off this message. Beckett started to access her voicemail. "Does anybody know how to a pause a message?"

"Star 5. You restart it by hitting Star 5 again. Star 6 is skip forward, Star 4 is skip back. " Alexis looked closely at Beckett. "Are you sure you and my Dad are compatible?"

"Yep. We took a test."

"Did you guys pass?"

"Well, **I** did." Beckett put her phone on speaker. They heard, _"Katie, it's Ricky. I know this is a terrible way to tell you, but I have some truly shocking news. I cannot marry you today, or tomorrow, or ever."_

Beckett paused it and looked at Crawford. "Castle hates the name Ricky, and the only one I allow to call me Katie is my Dad. This is a cry for help. She hit Star 5 again.

_"I never intended to tell you like this, leaving you stuck at the ball like Cinderella, but everything kind of happened at the last minute"._

Beckett paused it again. "Thoughts?"

Surprisingly, Chief Brady spoke up. "Cinderella was never stuck at a ball."

Alexis added, "He said, 'the last minute'. Dad doesn't use that idiom."

Beckett nodded. "I agree. I think he just put us on the clock. We have until midnight to find Castle, and not a minute later." She pushed play again.

"_Do you remember that terrific party at the Edward's place we got to attend last month? Where you met Bill the Barber?"_

Beckett paused it again. "We went to the Edwards party out here last fall, not last month. I thought it was nice, but Castle hated it. I certainly didn't meet anybody named Bill, nor any barbers as I recall."

Esposito asked, "Why did Castle hate it?"

"They held it in an outbuilding; used to be a barn generations ago. Castle is such a city boy. He swore he could still smell cows and pigs and chickens."

Esposito smiled, "There you go. He's being held in a barn."

"Okay, but who's Bill the Barber?"

Martha spoke up. "Oh, dear God. That boy watched way too many reruns as a youngster. They totally stunted his cerebral processes. I blame myself." She looked at Beckett. "For Richard, there is no 'Bill' the barber, nor any other barber except 'Floyd' the barber. The Andy Griffith Show"

Chief Brady again. "And there's a William Floyd Parkway up near the town of Ridge."

Beckett nodded. "Okay, we're getting there! We have until midnight to find the right barn off the William Floyd Parkway up near Ridge. Keep it coming, Castle!" She pushed play again.

"_Well, when we were separated, I ran into my old friend Ginger Knowles. We'd had a fling earlier, and we've rekindled our romance. Our connection is electric."_

"We were never separated at the Edwards, except maybe a bathroom break. I don't know a Ginger Noles. Ryan? Oh, Ryan's gone. Alexis, you want to run a search on Ginger Knowles?"

"Don't bother." It's Lanie's turn. "Ginger Knowles is Halle Berry's character in 'Swordfish'. She plays like this undercover CIA double agent, and ends up being a triple agent."

Beckett shook her head. "Typical Castle. I never saw the movie. Is there a kidnapping in it?"

Lanie frowned. "There's a little bit of everything in it. John Travolta gets the computer guy, Hugh Jackman, to work for him by threatening him."

"Holy shit!" Esposito actually turned pale. "Beckett, near the end of the movie, there's a hostage situation at the WorldBank. Revolta controls his prisoners by strapping explosive vests on them, filled with C4 and ball bearings. They become walking, talking claymore mines. They're all on a dead man's switch, attached to a weak transmitter. In the movie, the cops try to pull out some hostages. As soon as they get too far from the transmitter, they go boom!"

Now Beckett is pale. "Okay. What about 'our connection is electric'?"

Esposito shrugged. "Based on the movie, he might be telling us not to kill the power before we breach."

Alexis argued, "But Javi, it sounds like he's saying the connection IS electric. Like he's plugged in." The others could now hear the fear in her voice.

Beckett tabled the discussion. "Let's keep going. Maybe it'll be clearer later."

_"As I was driving to our wedding, I realized I couldn't go through with my marriage to you. I'm too committed to Ginger."_

She looked around. "Anything? No? Ok, Let's keep going."

"_I know how you believe in fate, and karmic justice. After subjecting you to this, I know something bad will undoubtedly happen to me. I'm sure you'll find someone better, someone worthy of your love."_

Now Beckett sounded scared. "Castle, don't give up on us, god dammit. Do NOT give up." She looked around. "Anything?"

Crawford asked, "What was all that about fate and karma?"

Beckett dismissed it. "Just another flare. Castle's the karma king, not me." She looked around. "Ready?"

"_I'll miss working with you. I could build a theory as to why this happened, but building theory is pretty dumb without you. Actually, it's definitely dumb without you."_

_"_All right. I think he's trying to tell us who's responsible, mentioning work and building theory."

Lanie spoke up. "Pretty dumb? Definitely dumb? He's talking about the movie 'Dumb and Dumber'."

Martha contributed, "Richard hated that movie. Thought it was a total waste of Jim Carrey's talents, as if he could tell the difference between a leading light and a dim bulb."

Esposito quipped, "Actually, some of that movie kind of reminds me of Castle." In response to Alexis' and Beckett's angry frowns, he added "Maybe he's saying there are two captors, and neither is very bright. Or, maybe the character's names are the same as the perps."

Alexis shrugged. "Maybe it's location again. Could they be planning on taking Dad to Colorado?"

Beckett disagreed, "I don't think so, Lex. When we discuss work and building theory, it's almost always about identifying the individuals responsible."

Crawford asked, "Aren't you guys reading too much into this? We are assuming Castle was under duress and closely monitored. How could he pass all of this information to us? He couldn't have had any time to compose this message. He'd have had to do it on the fly."

Beckett explained, "Castle is all about words. That's his job, and he's really good at it. Double meanings, innuendo, inference, and hidden import are his bread and butter. Okay, we'll circle back to 'Dumb and Dumber'. Let's finish this." She pushed play.

_So goodbye, Kate. I will think fondly of you …. forever_."

Beckett gulped, and whispered, "Hang in there, Rick." She looked over at Crawford, her eyes misting. She cleared her throat. "That's the biggest red flag of all. We have a, um, private word we use between us, and if everything was okay, he would have said it."

Esposito, Lanie, Alexis, and Martha all said in unison, "Always!"

Beckett looked at them in surprise. Martha tsked. "If you two want to keep it private, you should probably stop saying it ten times a day. Honestly, Katherine, I think you give Richard too much credit. Why not a word with more _panache;_ like eternal, or everlasting, or ceaseless? And the word extraordinary? It means extra ordinary. Surely he could do better than that for you!"

Beckett realized Martha was talking to allow her time to regain her composure. She managed a fleeting smile and responded, "Now is not a good time for a mother-in-law moment, Martha." Ha! Castle would be proud of her alliteration. She turned around to look at Chief Brady. "Chief? How many barns would you estimate are up in the Ridge area?"

Brady shrugged. "I don't know, that's a little out of my jurisdiction. Twenty? Thirty? Not too many working farms, and a lot of State Park and State Forest. That's all county land. The sheriff over there is pretty much a waste of air, but he has a young deputy that is really sharp. Grew up right in that area, knows it like the back of his hand." He turned and looked at Crawford. "Can I bring him in on this?"

The blond FBI agent sighed. "Sure. Why not? The more the merrier."

Esposito started thinking about surveillance … and counter-surveillance. "Barns normally are sitting out in the open, without any cover at all. If Castle is wearing an explosive vest, or wired somehow, strolling up and peeking through the windows is not an option."

Beckett said hopefully, "Maybe we can eliminate a lot of them from staking them out from afar. It's only" she glanced at the computer screen "quarter to four. I really don't want to wait until after dark. That would only give us about 3 hours to identify the barn and pull Castle out of there." She turned to Crawford. "Do you still have use of the helicopter? Maybe we could use that."

Esposito shook his head. "Not unless it's equipped with thermal imaging or some kind of penetrating radar. All we'd see is a barn."

Crawford blew a raspberry. "We're not Homeland Security or the Anti-Terrorist group. We don't have any of the cool toys. It's just a common Bell helicopter, has room for 6 passengers and equipment."

"Damn." cursed Beckett, "time is going to get tight in a hurry."

"I know!" crowed Brady, "We'll use a fish finder! Hook it up to the under carriage of the helicopter, and we're ready to go."

Crawford stared at him, as all her fears of working with small town locals were coming true. "Thanks anyway Chief, but we aren't looking for tuna."

"And my Dad is not a fish!"

"I guess we don't have any fishermen here? Modern high-end fish finders are extremely sophisticated sonar and imaging machines. All the technology used in the cold war in the seventies is now used to find fish. The best ones have 15 inch, multi-colored screens, thermal imaging, multi-frequency penetrating sonar, and side scan capability better than anything the Russian subs used back then. They're easily mounted and have 360 degree directional scanning, all remotely controlled from the cockpit. It's a lot harder to find a sailfish or marlin than a person." The Chief was obviously an enthusiastic fisherman.

Esposito was smiling broadly. At Beckett's questioning look, he said, "Chief's right. Not only will it work, but with the directional side scan abilities, the pilot won't have to be obvious by buzzing low right over the barn. One pass from the side should do it. How long a range do they have?"

Beckett looked at Chief Brady. "And how long to get one and mount it on the helicopter?"

"Probably, from a helicopter, the range would be half a mile or more. I've used them in 2500 feet of water. They have a couple of the top-of-the-line models at the shop down at the marina. I'll get the marina owner to meet us at the helicopter with the right tools. For a sale like that, trust me, no problem. To mount it, maybe ten minutes."

"Here Chief." Alexis handed the Chief a black credit card. "How much are they?" At his look she said quickly, "Never mind."

"Agent Crawford?" Brady asked eagerly.

She relented. "Okay. The heli and pilot are out at the crash site. Agent James is there now. Have your fish finder guy meet you out there with the equipment and tools, and find a place to pick up the deputy. Make absolutely sure the deputy takes some good maps." She glanced at the two homicide detectives in the room, then went back to Brady. "We need to have minimum exposure. One single pass for each barn, from altitude, at least a quarter mile away. Good Luck." She shook his hand.

As he turned to leave, Beckett stood up and moved in front of Brady. "John?" He stopped in front of her, and she surprised both of them by giving him a quick hug. "Thank you."

"Detective, it's my pleasure. I still owe you and Rick from earlier. I'll call as soon as we find something." He walked out the door.

Crawford commented, "Normally, I dread working with locals. Color me pleasantly surprised. He's pretty impressive."

Beckett smiled. Esposito looked at her. "Agent Crawford, try not to forget that in the city WE are locals."

Beckett added, "While you're feeling so generous, any chance of getting HRT up here?"

The agent shook her head. "The Hostage Rescue Team won't move until they have a definitive target. I'll call and give them a heads up, including what we've guessed from Castle's message, after I call and brief Agent James." She walked away to the corner of the room, her phone out.

Beckett asked Alexis, still working on the laptop, "Anything?"

Alexis replied, "Not really. It should have been called 'A Very Stupid Movie'. The character names were Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne, and the bad guy was Joe (Mental) Mentalino. Other than that, I've got nothing."

She walked over to Little Castle's desk chair and draped her arm over her shoulders. "Hey, Lex, it's okay. Investigations are a lot like that, frustrating as hell until you find the missing piece." She looked over at Espo, now talking quietly to Lanie. "Espo, for what it's worth, would you run various combinations of those names. See if anything pops?"

"No problem."

She picked up her cell phone and called Ryan. She found out that nothing earth shattering had been discovered out there, and asked him to come back to the house, where she could fill him in. She started pacing, back and forth, from the desk to the book shelf and back. Finally, she turned to the actress in the room. "Martha, would you please go out and check on my Dad? Make sure he's okay. I can't go out there dressed like this."

"Certainly, Katherine. While I'm out there, I'll scout the rest of the party." Martha sashayed out.

Crawford emerged from her corner. "Chief Brady's already out there with the marina owner, and they're fixing up the helicopter. Agent James is an avid fisherman, and is really excited about this. He thinks Chief Brady is brilliant." Crawford lowered her voice, smiling, so Alexis couldn't hear. "Do you know these things cost _fifteen thousand dollars_? James and Brady plan on asking Castle to borrow it after he's rescued." She shook her head. "Men and their toys!"

"Oh, I know! And Castle's the worst! One time he …"

Just then, the house phone started ringing . . .


	3. Scrabble

_Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters . . . I just move 'em around the board._

_"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat."_

- Fran Lebowitz

_**Chapter 3: Scrabble**_

Crawford stepped over to the FBI equipment, pushed a button, and nodded at Beckett. Beckett clicked the speaker button and spoke. "Hello?"

A male voice, obviously distorted, asked, "Is Richard Castle there, please?"

"No, I'm sorry, he's unavailable. Who's calling?"

Kate's question was ignored. "Then, may I please speak to Detective Beckett?"

"This is Beckett. Who is this?"

"Detective, this conversation will not exceed three minutes. I am assuming you or the FBI are trying to trace this call, but that won't happen. When there was no announcement of your marriage at the scheduled time, I assumed something bad had happened last night or today. I am calling to let you know that I had nothing to do with it."

"Well, that's interesting, Mr….."

"Call me Loki."

"Not very original. What announcement are you referring to?"

"Black Pawn had a press release scheduled at four. It didn't happen."

"So why do you think something bad happened?"

"Detective , you have wasted 45 seconds. Allow me. I was hired by a third party to delay your nuptials. I set a fire at your earlier venue, making sure that the building was clear. Check with the owner. He needed the insurance for a new floor without losing revenue, so I was paid twice. You'll find the internal alarm went off ten minutes before the fire department was called. I then caused a water break at your upstairs neighbors. They were less than thrilled to hear their downstairs neighbor had a penchant for having her apartment explode, not to mention dead bodies showing up at her door. They needed to break their lease."

Lanie swore and strode over to stand beside Beckett, fire in her eyes. Beckett put a restraining hand on her, as the cultured voice continued. "These were mere delaying tactics. However, imagine my surprise when I found that one Rogan O'Leary had listed a Katherine Houghton Beckett as his spouse, once while applying for a job as a minister in Texas, and once when he was trying to avoid a charge of impersonating a federal agent in Kentucky. He was kind enough to have supplied the date and location. Turns out he was lying. However, he did inspire me. It was a simple matter of creating a record and inserting it in the system. However, it was all for naught. I am amazed you managed to overcome all these hurdles. Your commitment is to be commended."

"Okay, Mr Loki. Why should we believe you about today?"

"Because I have never, intentionally or otherwise, directly harmed any individuals. I pride myself on it. However, my employer contacted me last night, very distraught, and suggested I either take more direct measures to derail your wedding or return his money forthwith. I assure you, neither had any chance of taking place."

"The name of your employer, Mr Loki?

"Unknown. However, he paid me through the Peoples Bank of Jakarta, a branch of the Bank of Hong Kong. The account number is 654-68369-128, and as of an hour ago was still active. I will now have to take some steps in insure I can't be traced, but I felt it was worth it to inform you of these facts. I have no desire to be in your crosshairs, so to speak."

"Is there anything else you can tell us?"

"Not really, and certainly not in our remaining six seconds. Goodbye and Good Luck, Detec . . ."

Lanie could no longer contain herself. "Well, I've got more, Mr Loki Whatever-your-name-is! You're in MY crosshairs now. Do you know how long I worked to repair that dress? Realizing everything I tried just made it worse? Do you know how heartbroken my girl was to hear about your trumped-up marriage? Not to mention how hard Alexis worked and how much Castle paid to get this entire circus shipped out here to the Hamptons? When they catch you, I'm going to do a pre-posthumous autopsy on you, starting on your genitalia. Do you hear me?" She turned to look at Crawford, her voice full of outrage. "Did he hang up on me?" She spun on Esposito. "Javi, I want you to go out and catch this Loki clown for me. I want him alive, and strapped to my table! I want him now."

"LANIE!" On Beckett's fourth call of her name, the pissed off M.E. finally quit her ranting. "Not now!" Beckett looked at Crawford, talking on her cell phone. "Did we trace him?"

Crawford took off her headset and shook her head. "Charles said he bounced his call all over the world. He was looking for a downlink in the Ukraine when the call was disconnected. The call was exactly 179 seconds long." She looked Beckett in the eye. "Do you believe him? The whole, I'll try to mess up your plans, but I'm not involved in a kidnapping?"

"You know, I think I do. It explains a lot."

"Lots of drug money and lots of cartels are now using Indonesian banks. Bring anyone to mind?"

"No, nobody. Maybe Bracken's friends. Can you trace the bank account?"

Crawford shook her head. "Not in time. They're very tough over there." She looked closely at Beckett. "Can you think of any reason, professionally or personally, someone would want to delay your wedding? Anything special planned this week?"

Becket frowned. "Not even a little! Whoever it is, they're not trying to _stop_ the wedding, just _postpone_ it. But _now_ they threaten Castle's _life_? It makes no sense at all!" Her voice mirrored her frustration. "The only things of note this week were a preliminary hearing for 'the dragon' and a couple of parole hearings. My team is covering for me. None of those involved would want me there if they could help it, anyway."

The door opened, admitting Ryan. He made a beeline for Beckett. He lowered his voice so Alexis couldn't hear him, and pointed back towards the door. "Boss, you would not _believe_ what is happening out there now!" He paused, then added, "Actually, you probably don't want to know."

"You're right. I don't. Tell me about the crash scene."

"No major surprises." He was still talking quietly. "The fed techs guess Castle's car was forced to a stop by a large American SUV painted black. Chevy or GMC, it could be government or private. Castle's driver side window was then broken, the door opened, and Castle was dragged out of the car. A couple of blood types on the glass, probably Castle's and at least one of the kidnappers. Castle's car was then aimed off the road, put in gear, and a thermal grenade was tossed in the window. Very little blood at the scene, so nobody was bleeding profusely. Everything else is negative. No word yet on blood type or the origin of the grenade. No sign of casings or spent rounds. No weapon found at the scene."

"Damn. I was hoping . . . " She picked her cell phone and called her voice mail. "Castle sent us a message. He was apparently under duress and monitored. See if you get anything out of this that we missed." She pushed play, and they all heard Castle's voice once more.

_"Katie, it's Ricky. I know this is a terrible way to tell you, but I have some truly shocking news. I cannot marry you today, or tomorrow, or ever. I never intended to tell you like this, leaving you stuck at the ball like Cinderella, but everything kind of happened at the last minute. Do you remember that terrific party at the Edward's place we got to attend last month? Where you met Bill the Barber? Well, when we were separated, I ran into my old friend Ginger Knowles. We'd had a fling earlier, and we've rekindled our romance. Our connection is electric. As I was driving to our wedding, I realized I couldn't go through with my marriage to you. I'm too committed to Ginger. _

_I know how you believe in fate, and karmic justice. After subjecting you to this, I know something bad will undoubtedly happen to me. I'm sure you'll find someone better, someone worthy of your love. I'll miss working with you. I could build a theory as to why this happened, but building theory is pretty dumb without you. Actually, it's definitely dumb without you. So goodbye, Kate. I will think fondly of you …. forever_."

At the conclusion of the message, Ryan smiled apologetically at his boss. "You know, I get so used to having Castle around all the time, joking and clowning, it's hard to remember how fricking smart he is. So what are we doing now?"

"So far, we believe he's being held in a barn up near Ridge, booby trapped somehow. The helicopter crew are checking out the barns up there. Esposito is running down names from the movie 'Dumb & Dumber' to see if anything pops."

"Why?"

Beckett looked at Ryan. She knew that tone of voice. "Pretty dumb, then definitely dumb? That's Dumb and Dumber, right?"

Ryan scowled, exasperated, and threw Esposito a dirty look. "Beckett, I can see why you didn't twig to it, but Javi should have caught it. We heard it half a dozen times every day for a year. He didn't say 'Pretty Dumb then Definitely Dumb', he said it's 'Definitely Dumb without you'." Ryan turned and yelled at his partner, "Esposito! How do you spell dumb without a 'U'?"

"D … M … son of a BITCH!"

Alexis exclaims "Shut the Front Door!", then looks accusingly at Kate.

They all hear Lanie shout "LORD, ALMIGHTY!" When they all turn to look at her, she gives a little squeek of surprise and she slaps her palm across her mouth. Her eyes grew huge. She looked at everyone and wailed, "Oh my God, I'm turning into my mother!"

Beckett looks from Ryan, to Espo, to Alexis, to Lanie, and back again, all the while getting angrier by the second. She finally growls, "Will somebody _please_ tell me what in the HELL is going on?"

Ryan sighs. "Beckett, 'D.M.B' has always been Castle's shorthand for Doctor Motorcycle Boy. Castle is telling us his kidnapper is Dr Josh Davidson, your ex-boyfriend."

Esposito looks furious. "Beckett, I could never understand what you saw in him!"

Lanie looked at him with pity. "Then honey, you are blind."

Javi looked down at the ME. "What's my eyesight have to do with anything?"

Lanie shook her head sadly. "Make that blind AND stupid."

"GUYS!" Beckett sinks back down on the couch, and covers her face with her hands. She didn't think the day could get any worse.

She was about to find out how wrong she was.


End file.
